Perhaps you grew up in a home where sarcastic bantering and hurtful words were cloaked beneath a shroud of ‘just good natured funning.’  Perhaps your sisters or brothers got a good giggle out of critical comments and the pattern was set that life revolves around sparring with words, just to get one up on the other guy.

Families often take on this life style not out of bitterness or resentment, but by tolerance and ignorance on the part of parents, generation after generation.  When children are allowed to take their frustrations out on each other with hurtful words and pretending a joke, they become adults with a tragic lack of communication skills, and homes are destroyed.

Women especially, who then become wives and mothers, repeat the behavior, driving away their good husbands and bringing sadness and destruction upon their own heads.  A man does not need a sparring partner.  He needs a wife in his corner encouraging and cheering him on as he presses to excellence in his life’s work as provider and protector.

He needs respect.  He needs a helpmeet, not a competitor.  A man will never out spar a woman with words.  It is not in his nature to be cruel with words, and when forced to do so out of self-defense, he loses self-respect and becomes vulnerable.

Listen to me!  The world is full of unscrupulous women just waiting for the precious life.  They have all the right words of affirmation to pour on the parched and cracked soil of your man’s heart thirsty for high admiration.  He wants that admiration from his wife; but if you refuse to give it, the devil will be sure to send someone who will.  This is how so many families are shattered and so many children left lonely and destroyed.  Never make a joke about ‘another woman’ lest you bring this tragedy into your reality.  Faithfulness is a virtue most men possess naturally when they are happy at home. Make them happy, not sorry! Watch your words carefully and apologize often.

Is it really worth it to be funny at someone else’s expense?  Is “just kidding” a justification for meanness in your home? Sarcastic bantering destroys the family.  It is not funny.  Children suffer with eating disorders, illness and restlessness and they are afraid and insecure.  They feel the hurt careless words inflict like barbed arrows filling their little ears and hearts with confusion and pain. They feel helpless.  Stop it!

Furthermore, the discontentment of a mother prone to sarcastic bantering opens her up to the wiles of the devil and robs her of her rightful place as the spiritual pillar of her home.  The devil hates kindness and gentleness and encouraging words of affirmation.  But people thrive on these positive words.  Men must feel admired by their wives; and in turn, women will receive the deep love they crave.  Stop complaining.  Be content with all you have, and tell others how happy you are.

Be kind in the family.  Speak high words of respect and love, and remember that the woman sets the tone in the home. The responsibility falls squarely on your shoulders, fair lady.  You are the keeper of your home!  Be his lover, his friend, his greatest fan.  Let the babies see the depth of respect and love they will copy in their own lives.  Stop the sparring and harsh, bitter words that hurt everyone so much.

Speak positive, uplifting and joyous words; for a merry heart is the best medicine.  Be content, stop complaining and demanding things to be better or different than they are.  Find the good in your man and your children and your home and be ye thankful.  This is how we fight the good fight of faith you know.  It is through kindness and respect in the home and in the church that we gain victory over darkness.

Ladies, talk to Jesus every day and he will help you be the woman of your husband’s dreams and the mother whose children rise up to call her blessed.

Philippians 3

¹Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. To write the same things to you, to me indeed is not grievous, but for you it is safe.²Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the concision.³For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh….⁸Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,⁹And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:¹⁰That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;¹¹If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead.¹²Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.¹³Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,¹⁴I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Oh!  dear Readers, how these great words speak to my weary soul these days.

Oh! dear Readers, as the days turn into years and the trials of life multiply, then subside for a season only to multiply again; the desire to really KNOW Him increases with every breath.

There is a nearness of the Savior that comforts and encourages us onward.  Yet, that nearness fades from awareness crowded out with troubles, daily tasks and the stuff of life.  Perhaps huddling away alone with Him will make us more acquainted; better friends.  So do we think.  Then longing for that sabbatical experience that never comes we settle back into routine prayer, church, and our Christian endeavors, only to be again pressed by inner hunger for more.

Then something happened.  Recently, something really big happened; something really big and really hard happened, and grief and suffering closed around like a heavy blanket.  Wrestling to overcome by willful dismissal of the weight, the days’ efforts left me exhausted.  The mornings became an effort, and progress slowed to a pitiful crawl.

I must shake this!  I must find the joy again!  I must overcome!  And again I take to the carpet praying this way and that for the lifting of the burden.  Do I repent for the self-pity?  Do I resign it all to “not my will, but thine be done?”  Do I forgive again and again and really mean it each time?  WAIT a second here!  What is this breaking through the fog?  From where comes this revelation softly turning the corners of my mouth up again?

I don’t need a sabbatical; this life experience is doing all I wanted!  I know him better now, because I am in fellowship with His suffering.  He was rejected by those he loved, so was I.  He was ridiculed and slandered, so was I.  People he cared for turned on him and lied about him; hmmm sounds familiar.  But, oh my, I have not yet resisted unto blood striving against sin.

There has been no thorny crown pounded down on me.  They said bad things, true, but no one yelled, “crucify.”  I know a little more about Him now, though.  We have some things in common.  He understands me, and we are better acquainted with each other now.

Funny how that sort of sneaks up on a person.  There we are, all sad and wondering how to pray our way through something when all the time Jesus is showing us more of himself.  What a wonderful counselor!  Such a good friend!  My everlasting father!

Fellowship with The Ancient of Days weaves the cares of life into a beautiful tapestry.

Great God in Heaven, help me to walk worthy of the calling you have placed in my life. “Make your calling and election sure,” you have said in your Word; with your constant help and guidance, I will do that.
A man or a woman must tremble at the responsibility of leadership. When the precious souls of God’s heritage sit to listen and receive wisdom at the mouth of one in leadership, that leader must hold the assignment as a fragile and breakable treasure; nearly buckled over with its weightiness. As our great Apostle Peter admonishes:
The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed: Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; Neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away. Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. (I Peter 5:1-7)

The buckling comes from the weight of the mighty hand of God and the revelation of responsibility that lies upon the bearer of the assignment; for God has chosen the foolishness of preaching to save those who believe. The Word delivered with overmuch focus on the intent of the messenger not humbled and pressed over by the mighty hand of God becomes a weapon instead of food for salvation. Indeed, it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God and those in leadership, given so very much, can easily swoon under the load; especially if they be those given to appetite and the desire for wealth.
God is no respecter of persons. It makes no difference how long or how glorious a ministry. God will make us humble before him one way or another. Enter Nebuchadnezzar. Seven years he wandered mad in the field before his eyes looked up and his reason returned. That story is in the bible for a reason; a warning to all who would assume the lordship over God’s heritage whether by purposeful intent or by willful ignorance. How very circumspect must be our steps in this life, and all the more for those in authorities.
Peter continues now:
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. To him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen. (I Peter 5:8-11)
Clearly, the God-ordained humility and careful administration of his Word serves as a shield against the wiles of the devil for faith comes by hearing and the shield of faith is that which quenches the fiery darts of darkness hurled against God’s heritage each and every day. Because of the roaring lion, because of the fiery darts, because of the daily battle, men and women of God, called to carry the precious Word to the minds and hearts of precious souls must live blameless lives flung far above the fray that shine as a beacon to the lost and found alike. When they look up, they must see us standing strong for the right. This charge is a weighty one and leaves no room for error lest even one soul stumbles and is lost because of a carnal fault, a love of money, a careless bitterness, a thoughtless gesture, a selfish intent perceived or real in the lives of leaders. One backslider over coffee shared the deepest hurt he ever felt; the pastor never called to see how they were, or where they were. They simply fell away unloved and unnoticed by the leader they had trusted. How shameful a report; it broke my heart.
If people make you mad, if their simple and stubborn ways insert bitterness into your spirit, if you feel disgust and easy anger dogs your trail, please, please, please do not minister until those personal flaws are wept into the dust. Souls are to follow leaders as those leaders follow Jesus. Jesus loves people. The only anger he ever displayed was over the love of money he saw in the temple. He loves people. If a man or a woman of God does not love people, they are no longer fit to lead. If a man or a woman of God abuses the authority given by God, or uses the tender sacrifices of God’s people for personal gain, it is time for that leader to fall down in repentance and let another come to protect the flock of God.
I have actually discerned an open invitation to Satan issued unintentionally by a minister drunk on his own power. A heavy and thick darkness swept in on the wings of a mocking glee as repeated reference to the things done in darkness fell from the lips of a leader stripped clean of anointing. Righteous indignation and a warlike spirit gripped me as I rose to fight only to realize the enemy was invited by the words, not of God but of man. What causalities were recorded in hell that day? Which unsuspecting souls were tricked in those few moments and stumbled in their forward progress? Just how much was devoured by the wicked one while we sat unarmed and vulnerable? How tragic.
In closing this writer and saint exhorts any who read these words to heed the warning. If we are called to minister to God’s heritage, we must come trembling and humble at the weightiness of it all. All selfish ambitions and desire for personal gain must be ground into the dust of our brokenness in prayer. Deep and sincere soul searching will prove our love for souls alive and well, or frozen over with bitterness and disgust. Please pray a foot of pride does not rise up against you. Please pray God-sent deception will never come your way. Please repent for the love of money that is the root of all evil. Please remove yourself from the assignment if you find yourself wanting lest God, himself, removes you; for the salvation of precious souls hangs in the balance.

Hello faithful followers of this blog…I do hope this entry finds you healthy, happy, and victorious in The Battle.  Like so many things in life that seem to “slip away,” this blog has been dormant way too long.  Here is an up-date:

Daily juicing of carrots, cucumbers, apples, beets and greens has accelerated our journey toward vibrant health.  We are eating more whole foods, nuts, seeds and sprouts; veggies and fruit.  Winter is coming and immune systems need to be strengthened.  We have also turned another significant page in our journal of life together.

We are actually getting to bed EARLIER!  Sleep is such a healer.  Good, deep sleep before midnight will do wonders for overall health.  We are not spending time in front of the computer screen before bed either.  The EMF’s so damaging to our electrical brain activity seriously disrupt sound sleep.  Here’s a neat thing to do as the days get shorter:  Light lots of candles around the house and finish your day by candle light only.  Turn off the lights and bathe, brush teeth, even eat your evening meal by candle light.  The resulting relaxation will usher you into dream land and restore calm and peace to your environment.  (be sure to blow out all of them as you retire!)

Health is truly our greatest wealth.

So many of us press our poor bodies through the sieve of busyness and elevated self-importance leaving only fragmented strength to put one foot ahead of the other for yet another day.  And what for?  Money?  Success?  Fame?  What good is all that when we feel awful in our bodies?

A friend of mine recently had an unfortunate car accident.  She needs about $400 worth of therapy immediately.  “I need to buy new tires for my car first,” was her statement.  And my response…”what good are new tires if you are too damaged to drive?”  This principle can apply to all sorts of things.  Say you want to take the family on a nice vacation so you are pulling 60 hour weeks with little rest, eating on the run, and enjoying minimal quality family time day by day.  Do you really suppose that vacation will be a time of enjoyment when you are exhausted, depleted of energy and zest for life because of burn-out?

Slow down out there.  Let’s take each day as the blessing God intended.  Pause to breathe, enjoy a sunset, sip a glass of fresh juice and smile at the loved ones surrounding you.  Really, 90% of our health quality hinges on our attitude and spirit.  Laughter and joy are the best medicines and they are free!  So, rest often, eat well, love much and let’s have a healthy and happy winter together!

Self control must be taught! When it is taught early, children grow straight and strong and right on time. When self control is not the focus, the wildness of the little ones can dominate, bending their tender shoots in all the wrong directions.
Children mimic their elders.   When an elder places their chin in their hands, watch, the child will do the same.  When an adult smiles, they smile; when we growl and become irritated, so do they.  If we are lacking self-control, they will grow to accept outbreaks and loud expression as the way we do life.  They will mimic that.   So imagine with me from the view point of about three feet, plus or minus a few inches, how confusing it is when a child copies the behavior of the adult and then gets in trouble for it!   Lack of self-control begets more demonstrations of that lack, and the child gets the punishment as though at the tender age of one or two or four or five they are suppose to discern between the appropriate response and inappropriate minus the controlled example of a calm teacher! Pretty tall order for a kid, don’t you think?

How much better it would be for everyone if the adults mastered self-control and portrayed that openly before their offspring.  Ah! How peace would permeate our homes, and love would rule the day!   Here’s an idea to accomplish this end.  Breathe!  Simple, but so effective!

You see, as adults, when we are honest and admit that self-control is not one of our strong character traits, it is incumbent upon us to fix it!  Some of us hate to be told “no.”   When we do not get our way, feel over-burdened with the tasks of daily life, or are hungry or just out-of-sorts, it is easy to lose control of our behavior.  We may just display a little body language or eye rolling; or we may slam cupboard doors and fly into a verbal rant of some sort.   Whether mild or strong, the little ones will mimic.
Furthermore, in times of excessive stress, there are certain hormones that our bodies secrete.  There is a kind of “high” that comes from this anger/stress/disgust attitude that actually feeds on itself and sub-consciously becomes our drug of choice to help us cope. Much like a sugar high, the rush of adrenalin can become quite addictive, to adults and especially to children. The fix is BREATHING! You hear it all the time: “Just take a deep breath and relax…” and that is about all…we just hear that.  Yet, when we actually DO that, the secretion of stress hormones is reduced, the blood is oxygenated and the self-control returns.  Try it.  Next time things go wrong, force yourself to breathe deeply several times. Just STOP where you are and breathe very deeply holding the air in for a few counts and exhaling fully; then holding it out for a few counts.   Repeat this three or four times.

Now, once you have actually taught yourself this technique, demonstrate it.  Let your little ones see you breathe and change to a calm, loving human right before their eyes!  When they pitch a fit about something, instead of matching their fury with your own, breathe, and teach them to do the same.  Make it fun.  Make it work.

Those who rock the cradle, rule the world and Jesus knows our world needs more peace and love.  Let’s start with our breath; after all, it is the gift of life from our Loving God.

Embarrassing how hard it is sometimes for a writer to write! Everyday it seems words, ideas and duty flood my mind and the swelling seeks an outlet; yet issues of the day keep a plug in the dike of creativity.

That said, I welcome the season change. It has been a slow season change this year. The daffodils all came up and shuddered in the cold, and the cherry trees are in full bloom reluctantly, but the earth is still too cold to plant. The promise of 60 degree weather for a few days prompts the planter in me to get dirt under my fingernails once again. This weekend, we plant some veggies.

There is a deeper desire and burden however that presses to the surface of today. I want to plant the Word of God into the good soil of someone’s hungry heart. This season means newness and beauty springing up through chilly earth to shine in the warmth of the sun. To me though, the desire to see a soul walk in newness of life, springing up through their cold and hollow past into the loving glow of life with The Son means so much more!

As the dirt collects on my hands and the seeds are lovingly hidden in the warm soil, may my sensitivities remain keen as I listen for the creek of a door opening in the heart of a neighbor; a friendly wave that is more of a beckoning; a look and a word that signals readiness to learn and a hunger to find the Ancient of Days forever.

Moreover, may all of us step outside our own world long enough to be available to the hurting humans hungry for a relationship with Deity; and I pray He will lead and guide us into all truth as we reach out to help others find their way back to the Garden. Plant On, Christian worker, Plant On!

So the last entry was on the birthday of our first born son…this entry is on my birthday.

This is the coldest February 25th in NW history I guess…must be the result of global warming, right? The sun beams, the snow and icicles glimmer and the three-day fire warms the house. Life is good because of Love.

You know, the Love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost. Recently, I have a new appreciation for phases lifted from The Word of God.

For example, ‘shed abroad in our hearts,’ ‘As a man thinketh,’ ‘issues of life,’ ‘loins of your mind,’ and ‘ponder the path.’ So much in The Word speaks about our mind and heart; how we think and how we Love, perhaps God really does know and care about how we conduct our daily lives.

As I ponder the path of my feet and harness the mental component, it becomes obvious that depth and meaning are the treasures of Love buried in the heart-field of humanity. We can sell all and own that field in victory, or we can avoid the responsibility and live as a victim. Those are the only two choices.

Personally, the early learning years were brutal. The life of a victim seemed familiar and a rather comfortable wallow. Raised as a lonely, only child by a single parent in an era where divorce-branded children were to be shunned, victim-hood was natural. Nobody liked me because I had no father. There was no way I could change that; no amount of tears washed away reality; they didn’t want to play with me. No matter how hard I tried to be happy and smile, the grip of loneliness held a firm choke-hold on my sense of self-worth.

By the time the rocky teen years arrived, the victim mentality became a way of life. There was a father in the picture by then, however, as my mother married a good man when I was sixteen. It was a good thing for her, but it was too late for me.

I began to make bad choices in life as victims often do. “Who cares what I do, anyhow? What difference does it make to anyone how I live? Mom has her life now, and no one cares about mine…so, it doesn’t matter what I do.” A tragic downward spiral accelerated as My Creator let out the line and watched me sink.

For the next ten years I fell, a victim of life and loneliness. Beneath were some Everlasting Arms, however, that one day let go completely. I was in a strange room in a strange California Autumn when suddenly I dropped fast and far and the scream of fear was so deep it never made it to the surface. I heard the word, ‘WAIT’ escape my throat, and I made a promise to someone I didn’t know.

Jesus dropped me that day. I guess He had had enough of my victim-hood. I did not know until years later who or what let go of me, I only knew that if I didn’t change my outlook on life, and change it fast, there would be a deep nothingness out of which I would never surface again. That was the first day I became a victor instead of a victim.

Instead of life happening to me, it would now happen because of me! The story of my path to Today, to this particular February 25th must wait until another post because you are tired of reading already.

Summarily speaking, Jesus reeled me in, netted my wandering mindless days, and lifted me tenderly into His Ship of safety. He blessed my lonely life with fabulous children and a life’s mate that daily amazes me with his Love and devotion to God and to me.

I bought a box of tomatoes the other day at a very good price, and this is what he wrote on one of them with a sharpie pen:
“U R my tomato!” All my friends and sweet family members are wishing me a happy birthday even now. Loneliness still dogs my trail from time to time, but the Love of God shining through others keeps me in VICTORY!

Happy Birthday to me, i have victory, with Jesus in the leeeed, i have all i’ll ever need.

Often coming to my ears have been accusations and puffing about THEY.

“That no-good company, they cheated me!”
“The landlord is unfair, they are all alike!”
“Those so-called Christians, they are all hypocrites!”
“They short-changed me!”
“They will be sorry they messed with me!”
“No one at that place cares; they all are just after my money.”

And on and on it goes; this random ‘they’ is the culprit. And so goes the heart expressions of those with the mentality of a victim. It seems everyone is out to get the poor misunderstood victim of this evil and heartless ‘they.’

The victim mentality is forever seeking an adversary; looking for a fight; determined to validate the unfairness upon which their reality rests. Since my thinking years have increased, this character trait seems to be more pervasive in our world. Victims make excuses. They avoid responsibility by magnifying imaginary blame, and point fingers of accusation at the nameless faceless ‘they.’ And, it becomes a habit.

Lots of people jump into the victim box unconsciously. So addictive is the focus on perceived injustice and the foot-stomping adrenalin produced by the same, that victim-hood becomes a literal ‘drug of choice.’ This just makes me want to stand on something taller and shout “Stop this foolishness” to the whole wide world.

For in truth, the imagined ‘they’ so targeted for blame are actually just other people doing their best to succeed. ‘They’ have faces and families; ideas, plans, hearts and souls. ‘They’ have decisions to make, and sometimes those decisions are difficult. Here is an example:

Recently, we made a purchase. We paid half down and financed the remainder with a promised 0% interest. Next, ‘they’ wanted our checking account information so the remaining payments could be automatically withdrawn. This is a practice in which we never participate, so a phone call was made requesting a coupon payment book. ‘They’ said that would be fine but would add a 2% interest on the balance. At that point, listen, at that point…I had a decision to make. Was I going to puff and snort, pay the 2% and accuse ‘them’ of cheating me to any listening ear for the next six months? The victim mentality would have done that. Or, was I going to gently but firmly assert our position?

“That isn’t going to work,” I heard myself say into the phone to the faceless ‘they.’ “We do not participate in automatic withdrawal with any company, and we also will not be paying a 2% increase.” The tone was soft, matter-of-fact, and determined. I was not starting a fight, looking for an adversary, or displaying an ugly spirit. The truth was simply spoken, and the ball passed to the ‘they’ on the other end of the phone line. We tossed the ball back and forth a few times as ‘they’ stated their position, and I restated ours. Always the gentle but firm tone was maintained. Then ‘they’ said, “Let me see what I can do and I will call you right back.” The coupon book is in the mail, the worker went home that night satisfied that he had had a good day at work, and we will pay 0% interest on the remainder of the purchase.

What is more important is that fact that no one was victimized. No one walked away with an ax to grind and adrenalin pumping. We both won. The issue was solved for us, and ‘they’ felt satisfied in their customer service. All is well. Here is another example:

When people go through life working for others, they often have no concept of what it takes to be an employer. Having never made a payroll, employees are quick to blame their employers for any transgression; real or imagined. When payroll taxes go up and less money appears on their check, it is the evil employer who is ‘cheating.’ Most employees do not even realize how much it costs a company to hire them. The insurance and paperwork involved; the taxes and regulations imposed, and the responsibility for the health and safety of each worker falls on the shoulders of the ‘they’ that sign the paychecks. Employers are constantly looking over their shoulders to make sure every i is dotted and every t is crossed. Running a business is a challenge and a huge responsibility and cannot succeed without loyal and talented employees. But there must also be that element of trust so the employees do not willingly make and jump into a victim mentality box. This mutual trust is a treasure.

Understanding and trust comes from a heart of love, not a mind set on accusation. The difference between a victim mentality and the mind of a victor is as stark as the difference between light and dark. Each of us must decide to be victorious. Accusing the faceless, nameless ‘they’ is easy. Assuming responsibly for our own behavior, now there’s the proof of character! Maturity derived from the soul-searching intent to give love makes us all victorious. And that, dear friends, is how we know who ‘they’ are anyway.

Recently I came across a quote from a book by Gary Erickson called Pentecostal Worship. On page 102 he writes: “Hand clapping and shouts can be just a response to cheer leading, and the people can amuse themselves with a game of group exercise.” Wow! How true this is today! When noise is the objective, and the congregation is bombarded with demands to “get with it,” one cannot help but long for the good old days!

I remember when the worship leaders would step away from the pulpit after a song and allow Jesus to move in our midst. We would throw our heads back and reach our hands to heaven as spontaneous worship filled the room for five to ten minutes after each song. Only when there was a collective awareness of a slight lifting of the Spirit of God would the worship leader step back to the microphone to make an announcement or call out the page number for our next song. Every service was different. God was the leader, the celebrity, and the one we came to see; it was His power and direction to which we were submitted.

Then, it all changed. Suddenly there were “praise singers” on the platform; worship leaders held the microphone close to their own words building a crescendo of noise that was really only an empty echo. The volume increased to a deafening pitch, and “skilled musicians” replaced the simple anointed players of not so long ago. Our hymnals no longer clutter the room, and the words to the songs speak of man instead of deity; earth instead of heaven; our worship instead of His blood. Our ‘agenda’ has replaced His move.

It seems the form of our services is more important than the liberty of God’s Spirit. No longer do we feel the rush of His moving and the tarrying in that place of Glory. We used to see the cloud of His presence, and weep and or worship for hours, so the ministers just gave the service to the Power and waited until next time to preach. Now the desire for entertainment and the urgency of the next item on the agenda has moved God right out the back door; and we like frogs in a pot of hot water just join in the group exercise and don’t even realize that God isn’t there.

Just what do we think the backsliders feel when they return for the Glory they once experienced only to find the same atmosphere of the world they desire to leave? People, call for the old paths, wherein is the good way, and walk ye in it. We need a revival of true Pentecostal Worship, not just more glitzy professionalism that magnifies us instead of Him.

Darling husbands out there, this post is for you! There is a trick you need to know…it can just be our little secret if you like, but I promise you, learning this trick will make your life so much easier! Oh I know, we women seem so hard to understand at times, and often ‘never satisfied’…but that is mostly because you don’t know the trick yet…are you ready? Here it is…do not put on the Mr. Fixit Hat unless requested!!

This is so easy! When your wife talks about her day, or a certain situation in her life, most of the time she is just hungry for someone to listen! You see, we women are amazing creatures! We come to conclusions by accident really, because we speak things until they resolve out there in the air. You genius men usually think first, then speak… a waste of time in our book, but that is part of the fabulous variety and attraction between us; so we better get used to it.

Here’s the deal. When your lady is telling you her feelings, or the events most current on her fertile mind, and you offer a solution, that is like throwing cold water on her process of understanding. Your well intentioned ‘suggestions’ invalidate her as a person. It is like saying, “Stop! You cannot figure out anything without me, so don’t even try!” Conversation stoppers; that is what sweet Mr. Fixits offer, and they don’t even mean to cause a problem; they are just trying to help…the trick is to know when she needs help and when she just needs to talk it out into the air.

Hubby and I have a little code we use for this now. He will ask if he needs to get his Mr. Fixit hat for this conversation. I can say yes or no. Most of the time I just want him to listen, then carry on a regular conversation. It is still a challenge to communicate between the sexes however, but this little trick has helped us.

The next hurdle is body language! Men! Listen to me on this! When your wife starts to share something with you, and you look out the window, check your phone, or close your eyes and yawn…peace and harmony have just vacated your home! Be Careful! We are watching! Eye contact, active listening, a carefully placed nod and even just a grunt of understanding will do wonders. We will be done soon.

Some of the air has to come out of the balloon before more can be added. Just give us your attention for a little bit. I promise, there will be plenty of dragons to slay, and plenty of things to ‘fix’ as we travel this road together, but we ladies need your ears sometimes so we can let some of the air out of our balloons to make room for your strong wisdom and leadership.

When we need something fixed, we can hand you the hat.