So the last entry was on the birthday of our first born son…this entry is on my birthday.
This is the coldest February 25th in NW history I guess…must be the result of global warming, right? The sun beams, the snow and icicles glimmer and the three-day fire warms the house. Life is good because of Love.
You know, the Love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost. Recently, I have a new appreciation for phases lifted from The Word of God.
For example, ‘shed abroad in our hearts,’ ‘As a man thinketh,’ ‘issues of life,’ ‘loins of your mind,’ and ‘ponder the path.’ So much in The Word speaks about our mind and heart; how we think and how we Love, perhaps God really does know and care about how we conduct our daily lives.
As I ponder the path of my feet and harness the mental component, it becomes obvious that depth and meaning are the treasures of Love buried in the heart-field of humanity. We can sell all and own that field in victory, or we can avoid the responsibility and live as a victim. Those are the only two choices.
Personally, the early learning years were brutal. The life of a victim seemed familiar and a rather comfortable wallow. Raised as a lonely, only child by a single parent in an era where divorce-branded children were to be shunned, victim-hood was natural. Nobody liked me because I had no father. There was no way I could change that; no amount of tears washed away reality; they didn’t want to play with me. No matter how hard I tried to be happy and smile, the grip of loneliness held a firm choke-hold on my sense of self-worth.
By the time the rocky teen years arrived, the victim mentality became a way of life. There was a father in the picture by then, however, as my mother married a good man when I was sixteen. It was a good thing for her, but it was too late for me.
I began to make bad choices in life as victims often do. “Who cares what I do, anyhow? What difference does it make to anyone how I live? Mom has her life now, and no one cares about mine…so, it doesn’t matter what I do.” A tragic downward spiral accelerated as My Creator let out the line and watched me sink.
For the next ten years I fell, a victim of life and loneliness. Beneath were some Everlasting Arms, however, that one day let go completely. I was in a strange room in a strange California Autumn when suddenly I dropped fast and far and the scream of fear was so deep it never made it to the surface. I heard the word, ‘WAIT’ escape my throat, and I made a promise to someone I didn’t know.
Jesus dropped me that day. I guess He had had enough of my victim-hood. I did not know until years later who or what let go of me, I only knew that if I didn’t change my outlook on life, and change it fast, there would be a deep nothingness out of which I would never surface again. That was the first day I became a victor instead of a victim.
Instead of life happening to me, it would now happen because of me! The story of my path to Today, to this particular February 25th must wait until another post because you are tired of reading already.
Summarily speaking, Jesus reeled me in, netted my wandering mindless days, and lifted me tenderly into His Ship of safety. He blessed my lonely life with fabulous children and a life’s mate that daily amazes me with his Love and devotion to God and to me.
I bought a box of tomatoes the other day at a very good price, and this is what he wrote on one of them with a sharpie pen:
“U R my tomato!” All my friends and sweet family members are wishing me a happy birthday even now. Loneliness still dogs my trail from time to time, but the Love of God shining through others keeps me in VICTORY!
Happy Birthday to me, i have victory, with Jesus in the leeeed, i have all i’ll ever need.
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Loved your blog and I love you! You are a wonderful godly woman!