Sarcastic Bantering


Perhaps you grew up in a home where sarcastic bantering and hurtful words were cloaked beneath a shroud of ‘just good natured funning.’  Perhaps your sisters or brothers got a good giggle out of critical comments and the pattern was set that life revolves around sparring with words, just to get one up on the other guy.

Families often take on this life style not out of bitterness or resentment, but by tolerance and ignorance on the part of parents, generation after generation.  When children are allowed to take their frustrations out on each other with hurtful words and pretending a joke, they become adults with a tragic lack of communication skills, and homes are destroyed.

Women especially, who then become wives and mothers, repeat the behavior, driving away their good husbands and bringing sadness and destruction upon their own heads.  A man does not need a sparring partner.  He needs a wife in his corner encouraging and cheering him on as he presses to excellence in his life’s work as provider and protector.

He needs respect.  He needs a helpmeet, not a competitor.  A man will never out spar a woman with words.  It is not in his nature to be cruel with words, and when forced to do so out of self-defense, he loses self-respect and becomes vulnerable.

Listen to me!  The world is full of unscrupulous women just waiting for the precious life.  They have all the right words of affirmation to pour on the parched and cracked soil of your man’s heart thirsty for high admiration.  He wants that admiration from his wife; but if you refuse to give it, the devil will be sure to send someone who will.  This is how so many families are shattered and so many children left lonely and destroyed.  Never make a joke about ‘another woman’ lest you bring this tragedy into your reality.  Faithfulness is a virtue most men possess naturally when they are happy at home. Make them happy, not sorry! Watch your words carefully and apologize often.

Is it really worth it to be funny at someone else’s expense?  Is “just kidding” a justification for meanness in your home? Sarcastic bantering destroys the family.  It is not funny.  Children suffer with eating disorders, illness and restlessness and they are afraid and insecure.  They feel the hurt careless words inflict like barbed arrows filling their little ears and hearts with confusion and pain. They feel helpless.  Stop it!

Furthermore, the discontentment of a mother prone to sarcastic bantering opens her up to the wiles of the devil and robs her of her rightful place as the spiritual pillar of her home.  The devil hates kindness and gentleness and encouraging words of affirmation.  But people thrive on these positive words.  Men must feel admired by their wives; and in turn, women will receive the deep love they crave.  Stop complaining.  Be content with all you have, and tell others how happy you are.

Be kind in the family.  Speak high words of respect and love, and remember that the woman sets the tone in the home. The responsibility falls squarely on your shoulders, fair lady.  You are the keeper of your home!  Be his lover, his friend, his greatest fan.  Let the babies see the depth of respect and love they will copy in their own lives.  Stop the sparring and harsh, bitter words that hurt everyone so much.

Speak positive, uplifting and joyous words; for a merry heart is the best medicine.  Be content, stop complaining and demanding things to be better or different than they are.  Find the good in your man and your children and your home and be ye thankful.  This is how we fight the good fight of faith you know.  It is through kindness and respect in the home and in the church that we gain victory over darkness.

Ladies, talk to Jesus every day and he will help you be the woman of your husband’s dreams and the mother whose children rise up to call her blessed.


Marthalee is a writer, teacher, Grandma and friend. Any wisdom or insight shared on this blog or in her books is credited to Jesus and the life experience He allows. Do enjoy these humble offerings, and may your time on Earth be blessed and enriched. God is Love. Share it and Him at every open door.

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